I'm in-What???

I woke up in a very good mood with him in my thoughts. It feels so good to be inspired for the day because of the anticipation of meeting him in the streets.

I was just getting ready for my class when I saw a familiar motorcycle and there he is, in his skin tight pants, tight man-blouse, mailman bag, and shades. OMG, my heart was leaping. I never found him appealing until this morning. I was really "kinikilig" with the sight of him. He passed by my classroom twice and twice also my heart leaped.

There: I am officially in-love with this creepy guy.

What to do, what to do?

Am I really serious with this? Am I imagining that somehow I could rescue him (the first question: does he need rescuing?). Okay okay, assuming he needs rescuing -_- (gosh, this is so immature).  It’s like a dream actually: a dream where I could command the plot of the story, where I could decide for twists and turns in favor of the heroine of course. It's like a perverted wish, not even a realistic goal. What would be the odds of him leaving his gf for me when he never even said that he liked me. Did he said that he like me? Well, he said he finds me attractive, sexually aggressive and somehow in- tune in his frequency which he retracted later. I have this urge to help him, to care for him, to set him free (just to be imprisoned in my love again? wahahaha).  Somehow, I want to take care of him for a change. He had done a lot of caring for others (I don’t know about his gf).

Amazingly, Jelly seemed to be very persistent in having him, letting him go and getting him back. I believed when he said that he is tired with such an immature relationship with her. Can I offer a different kind of love? I'm not sure but I'm hoping I could be more mature when I met the love of my life. Jelly’s persistence takes a lot of courage.Peter’s "women problem" is very prevalent. She had confirmations yet she is still there: what a woman. Salute to you sister!

Do I envy her because she has Peter? Yes and no.

Yes because she has a very intelligent, witty, smart, singer, "mabola", sweet and a good lover (in bed) boyfriend. His is stable because of his job. He knows how to manage his time. I specially commend his religious views (nd how he sees God. He know how to play his cards. He got priorities.

No because he is a womanizer. I don't know any woman who would not be suspicious when it comes to him. He said that if ever we'll be lovers, I would just cry because I would always think that he has other women. Well, in my mind, I will not be suspicious but I don’t know when the time comes (will it come?). I don’t want to put myself in a position that later on would bring me regrets. Perhaps she is in constant check on him which gives the strain in their relationship.

Which made me ask: what the hell did he tell Jelltyabout me? That I am really some gay who chases him? Hmm… I wonder…

But I have cards too.  Peter seemed to be very pleased with my blow jobs(yipee!). I bet Jelly cannot do that. He had squeezed, caressed and touched me. His hands were meant to touch Jelly only but it wandered in my territory.

That leads me into another question: how could you look, kiss and make love with a man whom you knew looked, kissed and made love with another woman other that you?

I know that feeling. I had imagined my ex in that position before and it hurts like hell. Is Jelly aware of Peter’s  fling? Does she really believe in anything/everything he says? How about me, I believed him. What you don't know won’t hurt you so, don't ask, don't tell.

The curse of being gullible

* sigh -_-

DEAR GOD, THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE INLOVE AGAIN.